Splintered Song
by Horyuu1
Summary: "Your smile was worth it all" Tomo's past and feelings come into light
1. Splintered Song

R rated. Lime and other issues. Angst.  
  
(30/04/2003 This was written after a very angst drama class, we're close so we share things with each other. Two girl revealed memories today that mad them cry, and Hotaru nearly cried as well, we were also working on a play on isolation (VERY ANGSTY). After that I had a million thoughts and emotions so I smashed them into this fic. So I apologize for the fracturedness, it's just what I'm feeling, and probably Hotaru. Very rough cause I'm writing this all at once and posting it.)  
  
~Splintered song~  
  
Stupid son of a bitch! How dare you! Before I met you I was the best in my troupe. A perfect symphony, not letting my past throw shadows around me. I sang in perfect harmony with the life I'd been given.  
  
And now look at me! See what you've done? You've ruined me, taken my heart, shredded it, and then carefully sewn it back together. Can't you see that every time you order me to your rooms, to 'discus tactical issues'?  
  
And every time that I'm on my back, blinking up at you and wondering how I got here, you smile... not that smirk, but a REAL smile. You're slipping, if you let me see that emotion.  
  
I don't know how we got into this arrangement. You'd seen me one night without my make up, my shield. The next night at the same time you first ordered me to 'discuss plans' and I, the stupid fool that I am, went in hopes to please you into trusting me. Your summons were not unexpected, during the day you had discovered my skill at tactical warfare, had told me that you could use the skills to help with battle plans.  
  
You showed me the maps, and while I was looking at them, you moved behind me, then you put you arms around me. So warm, so soft, your hair brushed against my bare cheek. I stiffened, questioned you name, you merely smiled against my neck, before slowing kissing it. I fought, memories that hadn't affected me in ages, surging up into my mind. So I struggled and tried to run, you tripped me and I went sprawling onto you bed. That's when I knew I was trapped. And as you caressed my face you said the one word that I hadn't heard in a lifetime. "Beautiful".  
  
~*~*~  
  
Yes, I know I'm beautiful, I get my looks from my mother, like you get yours, so I must be beautiful. They all think that my father is my adopted one, not true. They all think I never knew my mother, also not true. My mother cared for me to the end, she was never able to defend me against the older actors... but she always tried, and had nearly every bone in her body broken at one time or another. My father couldn't stop them, but he always got the best healer he could to take care of us, it hurt him that he couldn't defend us. My mother was happy, she didn't care that I was born out of wedlock, and I always remember her metallic gold eyes glimmering at me with pride and love as I achieved something. No body knows about Higashi Irona, a girl of fourteen, who ran away from her husband when an opera performer who had captured her heart impregnated her. Ryuo Chuin, my 'adopted' father, and my mother were very happy together until the end.  
  
The end? The end was when the godamned Kuto soldiers attacked us. They came without warning when I was ten, ripping the tents, killing the men and women. My father fell defending my mother, the woman he'd stolen from another, and then the Kuto soldiers saw her, with her long silver-black hair and blazing gold eyes, she looked like a goddess.  
  
I told you once before that my past was like yours, this is where it's nearly identical. Except my mother, she was spared the torture of rape... just the sight of them daring to touch her sent me into a rage, blue light streaked the air, and then all I remember is vines, screams and blood.  
  
When I came to my senses all the soldiers were dead. My mother got to her feet, ignoring the gapping hole where her heart should have been. She kissed me softly on the forehead. Told me that she loved me, then she died.  
  
~*~*~  
  
So as I lay there listening to you whispering in my ear, all these memories that I'd suppressed came rushing back. But you knew, and you soothed me, kissing me and holding me until I needed you.  
  
Then you took me, pain and pleasure, friction of the skin. Your lips were soft and gentle, you acted like another man almost... why?  
  
When I climaxed, you held me, the fact that I climaxed surprised me... I'd never been taken by anyone who cared about that.  
  
But you didn't take me did you? You made love to me... that's what you told me... and I begin to believe it sometimes... especially when you kiss my neck and bury your face in my hair (which you always compare to moonlight), telling me that I'm more beautiful than anything you've ever seen.  
  
So now, the song I sing is a fractured one, splintered then pieced together, still beautiful while discordant. It weaves its way around the song that you sing, dark and broken melody that it is, trying to harmonise... sometimes it does.  
  
So here we are, at the gates of rebirth, you hold my hand and smile at me, my heart begins to beat faster, even though it doesn't really exist. You kiss me once, and whisper words that I've longed to hear, that I wanted to tell you and I saw hovering on you lips many a time. Out of the corner of my eye I see Soi stiffen, but I don't care.  
  
"Wo Ai Ni"  
  
So, on we go to another life, I hope this time I can meet your mother, Seiryuu has already told us that we'll have the same parents. And I hope you meet my mother and father, they would have loved you... most definitely.  
  
So as we move toward a new life I say the words that have plagued me since our meeting.  
  
"Wo Ai Ni"  
  
Your smile was worth it all.  
  
~Owari~ 


	2. Broken Melody

R rated (NC-17). Lime and other issues. Angst. Nakago might seem out of character (*snort* when isn't he out of character in my fics?)  
  
(02/03.05.2003 I decided to write Nakago's point of view for "Splintered Song"... after this will be the lemon first mentioned by Tomo... when Nakago first summons him to his rooms)  
  
~Broken Melody~  
  
What!!?!? What is it? You're staring at me again! With those beautiful gold eyes of yours narrowed and thoughtful, almost angry. Did you know that you ruined every minor plan I made! Did you? The moment I first saw you on the balcony, your pale crimson rose lips parted in surprise, your pale skin glowing everything fell to shambles.  
  
And now look at me! See what you've done? You've ruined me, taken my heart, shredded it, and then carefully sewn it back together. Can't you see that every time I order you to my rooms, to 'discus tactical issues'? Cause every time I do, I hope you'll refuse, so that I can go back to a sham of what I had been.  
  
And every time I lie on top of you, staring into your confused eyes as you try to figure out how you got onto my bed, I find myself smiling, not the smirk I give to the world, but a REAL smile. I find myself feeling real emotion, the ice wall around me slipping.  
  
I remember how we got into this arrangement, I'd seen you one night, without your make up, your shield. Oh Seiryuu, I'd had a faint stirring of feelings before, but when I saw you in the moon light, so beautiful, your cheeks oh so faintly blushing, it was all sealed, I HAD to have you, mind, body and soul.  
  
So the next night at the same time I first ordered you to 'discuss plans' and I hoped to the gods, even though I'd had enough of them that you'd still be in your costume, but you innocently came, in the same condition as I'd seen you the night before. During the day I'd discovered your talent for tactical warfare, had told you that I could use the skills in the future, so you were obviously not surprised.  
  
I remember the door sliding open, and you quietly entered, no make up, no costume, just a plain black silk robe which slithered around you... dear Seiryuu it was as if you were asking for it.  
  
I showed you the maps, and while you were looking at them I moved around you, taking in every angle. Then I put my arms around you, leaning forward so my hair brushed your cheek, your skin was so soft and warm under my arms. You stiffened and questioned my name. I would have pulled back then, if not for your silky hair sliding off your neck, so smooth and tempting. So I merely smiled against your neck, then kissed it, allowing myself to taste your skin for the first time. You fought, I could see it in you eyes, black memories staining your soul as they surged into your mind. You kept struggling and tried to run, I tripped you and you went sprawling onto my bed. That's when you realised you were trapped, I lent over you and said the one word that summed you up. "Beautiful"  
  
~*~*~  
  
Yes, you are beautiful, but it's feminine beauty that makes me wonder if you got it from your mother, I know there's something about your past that you lie about, if the way you talk about your 'adopted' father is anything to go by.  
  
I get my looks from my mother, there's hardly any of the Kuto from my father in me. It's her golden hair, and it was once her Seiran blue eyes, but the colours changed over the years, become darker, less innocent.  
  
Have you experienced what I have? To feel the rage and hatred at seeing men touch the most precious and loved person in your life? Have you experienced killing that person, when you only wished to protect them? For some reason I think you have. So when I first met you, and you sympathised with my past I felt a connection to you.  
  
I sometimes wake up at night remembering the night that I killed my mother, and if you're with me you hold me in you arms and kiss me. It's almost like our roles are reversed, because you always seem so much older than me, when you sooth me. But when I wake up from the memories of blue chi, my mother's screams and blood and you're not there I find myself wanting you more than ever. That's why I sometimes summon you to my rooms in the middle of the night or in the early morning hours, I need you to much to wait.  
  
~*~*~  
  
So as you lay there, with your darkened eyes and your body trembling so torturously under mine, I knew what you were going through. I whispered in you ear, soothing words, loving words. I knew you heard and slowly the memories began to recede from your eyes, making them that intense shining gold. I held you in my arms, kissing you and holding you close until your body relaxed under mine and accepted it.  
  
I made love to you for the first time. It was... perfection, your body so warm and excepting, the intense pleasure of being within you, your skin pressing against mine in urgency, your lips so soft. And when you climaxed I held you close, feeling your pleasure.  
  
You seemed surprised that you climaxed, hadn't you had a lover who had cared about that before? Who cared?  
  
You didn't seem to share my point of view, to you I'd taken you, no I'd made love, there is a difference. Sometimes I think that you're beginning to believe me. It's mostly when we're just lying together. I love kissing you neck and burying my face in your moonlight hair. You're more beautiful anything I've ever seen, have I ever told you that?  
  
When I look at the two of us, I see a broken melody, fractured into two parts, desperately trying to harmonise and seal together, and sometimes I think that we do harmonise.  
  
Here we are... standing at the gates of rebirth, I take a hold of your hand, so small and delicate, you flush and a smile works its way onto my face and I don't try to hold it back. I lean forward and claim those sweet lips of yours, I let the words that I've longed to tell you, that I've wanted to tell you for so long, that I've seen shining out of your eyes.  
  
"Wo Ai Ni"  
  
You blink and blush a bit more, so many thoughts and emotions flit though you eyes. Were your mother's eyes like this? I'd like to meet her. I checked you records once, about the opera troupe that you were born into, how Ryuo Chuin stole a woman who had a child who was name after him, easy to figure out the rest... ne Chuin?  
  
Your lips part, and you say the words that I've always wanted to hear from you.  
  
"Wo Ai Ni"  
  
Because of you my life was worth it.  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
